Your Dead Brother's Flesh

http://www.islamicinsights.com/religion/religion/your-dead-brother-s-flesh.html
Monday, 29 March 2010 14:31 Zara Syed
Whenever the Shaikh or Maulana touches on the topic of Gheebat (backbiting) from the pulpit, many of us display so many new and never before seen facial expressions, it's as though we are all innocent and being wrongfully found guilty of a heinous crime! This is usually followed by the audience giggling, people's faces turning bright red, and then a mini-gossip fest at the Islamic center where we all take turns retelling a story of how so-and-so is known for committing Gheebat and is a big trouble creator in the community – by the way, that was just more Gheebat.

This problem of Gheebat/backbiting/back-stabbing/black-mouthing/whatever-we-want-to-name-it is not new. When the Holy Qur'an was revealed, verses were also dedicated towards warning the believers against any and all forms of Gheebat. For example, Allah says, "Nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it." (49:12) This verse isn't unfamiliar to most of us, yet we continue to talk about others in an ill way behind their backs. But the question is: why?

The only logical explanation as to why so many Muslims openly partake in Gheebat (despite it being so strongly forbidden) is that a) we may not know what Gheebat is and when we commit it; b) we fail to even partially comprehend the negative effects that Gheebat has on our lives; c) we underestimate or forget the promised punishment of willingly committing Gheebat; or d) we want to avoid Gheebat, but simply don't know how. So, let's talk some Gheebat!
What Is Gheebat?

Although for some of us identifying Gheebat is perhaps as difficult as rocket science, our Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) has given us a simple definition: "Gheebat is remembering your brother in a way he dislikes." (Makasib Muhrima) In his book Greater Sins, Martyr Ayatollah Dastghaib Shirazi talks about different types of Gheebat in light of the traditions of the Ahlul Bayt (peace be upon them).

Absolute Gheebat

"For crying out loud! Everyone thinks Sukaina is soooo smart, but my mum works at her school and she told me that Sukaina failed three subjects last year!" If we know the deep dark secret or defect of someone we dislike or are jealous of, the urge to reveal this secret to intentionally defame the person is at times overpowering. For some of us, Shaitan guides us to feel an unsolicited degree of satisfaction when others know that someone is less than perfect in one way or another. Regarding this type of Gheebat, Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said, "Gheebat is exposing that aspect of your brother which Allah had concealed." (Al-Kafi)

Apparent Gheebat

"We should never have migrated here! First Brother Ahmed's teenage son started dating Brother Haider's daughter. Yesterday I looked over the backyard fence and saw that twenty-year-old boy Najeeb with a non-Muslim girl in the house! Next it will be our kids! Let's go back to Pakistan!" This type of Gheebat is not done to intentionally expose the shortcomings and secrets of others, but rather to prove a point, express concern, or to cite an example. Regardless of the intent, publicizing such private facts is still classified as Gheebat.

Implied Gheebat

"Remember how we found out Hajj Malik doesn't pray and listens to music? I still can't believe he managed to become the head of our Islamic center!" Although not agreed upon by all Religious Authorities (but we will err on the side of caution), this type of Gheebat is when we repeat, remind, mention or discuss a defect to a person who is already previously aware of it. Although all parties have previously acquired the knowledge of the concerned person's defects, it is considered backbiting since it is classified as "causing grief and humiliation to a fellow believer."

Non-Verbal Gheebat

As though there aren't enough classifications of backbiting already, say hello to the non-verbal type of Gheebat! A sister who is suffering from bulimia walks by, and as soon as she is gone, the other sisters standing there all stick their fingers in their mouths and pretend to throw up. Little did we know that expressing a private defect or fact by way of hand gestures or physical notions which is understood by others (makes an allusion) is also Gheebat!

Listening to Gheebat

In our communities, we often find people believing that it's quite halal to listen to someone defaming another in their absence, as long as we don't take part. Technically, we are not the ones talking ill about that person...right? But according to the Holy Prophet of Islam, "The one who listens to Gheebat is one of those who do Gheebat." (Mustadrak al-Wasail)

Permissible Gheebat

Please note there are certain situations in which Gheebat is permitted. In his book Al-Makasib, Shaikh Murtadha Ansari mentions four instances: 1) when a person openly indulges in sin, 2) when there is an inquiry about the person for legitimate marriage and/or business partnership purposes (of course, only to the extent that is necessary and relevant), 3) when complaining about an oppressor, provided that the complaint is directed to someone who is in a position to redress the oppression. and 4) to discourage the person from engaging in that evil activity, provided that we have certainty that telling others about a person's sin would stop him/her from committing it. For a more detailed discussion on each of these, please click here.
The Negative Effects of Gheebat

The minute we feel as though we may have some serious or life-threatening illness or disease, there's only one thing on our mind: survival. Our Holy Prophet has said: "Slander acts quicker against the faith of a Muslim believer than leprosy does against his body." (Al-Kafi) It makes us wonder, does that instinct wanting "survival" of the faith even exist in the gossiping believers, or are we perfectly fine with our faith being eaten away every time we backbite?

An accountant's worst nightmare is to issue a transaction which allows for the exchange of a profit for a loss. But what's worse is when we do this while dealing with the treasures which will benefit us in the afterlife. Backbiting indeed annihilates good deeds! Imam Sadiq has said, "Gheebat is prohibited for all Muslims, and there is no doubt that Gheebat destroys good deeds like fire destroys wood." (Ibid)

To top things off, Gheebat not only increases our sins, but it also invalidates our previously fulfilled religious duties. Our Prophet has said "Whoever backbites a Muslim spoils his fasts and breaks his Wudhu." (Wasail al-Shia) It is stated in other traditions that the good deeds of the backbiter are transferred to the victim of his backbiting, and the victim's sins are transferred to the scroll of deeds of the backbiter!
The Promised Punishment for Gheebat

Let's give all brothers and sisters who are keen on Gheebat the benefit of the doubt. The Holy Qur'an says, "Surely (as for) those who love that scandal should circulate about the believers, they shall have a grievous chastisement in this world and the hereafter; and Allah knows, while you do not know." (24:19) Perhaps our fellow Muslims are simply unaware of the promised punishment for defaming and backbiting others.

Unless those whom we have slandered and committed Gheebat against are our best friends and are extremely kind and forgiving to us, we are in big trouble. Backbiting is such a dangerous sin that only the person who we have defamed has the authority to forgive us. The Prophet once said to his companion Abu Dharr: "O Abu Dharr! Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is graver than adultery." Abu Dharr said: "Why is that so, O Messenger of Allah?" The Prophet replied: "That is because when a man commits adultery and then repents to God, God accepts his repentance. However, backbiting is not forgiven until forgiven by its victim." (Wasail al-Shia)

If we are guilty of having committed Gheebat of a person, it is imperative for us to repent and seek the forgiveness of the victim if this is possible without any chance of severe reaction; otherwise, we must pray for the person and ask Allah to make him/her happy with us, as is outlined in the Du'a for Monday.

Regardless of our level of piety, we all love sporting fresh breath at all times. But for those of us who backbite, unless there's an unlimited supply of free Mentos on the Day of Judgment, we will be in big trouble. The Noble Messenger of Islam has said: "Whoever backbites a Muslim shall come on the Day of Resurrection with his mouth's stench more putrid than a carcass, and it shall irk those who are with him in his station. If he dies before repenting, his death is like that of one who dies while considering permissible that which is prohibited by God, the Exalted and the Glorious." (Ibid)

To those backbiters who remain silent when others speak ill of a fellow brother or sister, our Prophet once said to Imam Ali: "O Ali! When someone hears the backbiting of his Muslim brother committed in his presence, yet he does not rally to his assistance despite being capable of doing so, God shall humiliate him in the world and in the Hereafter." (Ibid)
Practical Tips on How to Avoid Gheebat

If someone brings up a person you dislike or are not exactly on best terms with, change the topic to ensure that you do not feel the urge to blurt a defect about them or end up humiliating them in some other way. If you know a person always backbites others while socializing, then try explaining how you do not appreciate what they are doing, and if they persist, leave or kick that person out of your social circle! (Insha'Allah soon they will realize why you no longer enjoy their company!) If you are unexpectedly caught up in a Gheebat-fest (as often is the case), then do something to make it known that you do not feel comfortable with anybody tainting the reputation of a fellow Muslim.

According to Islam, the first and foremost preferred response to a Gheebat scenario is to refute the backbiting and defend the victim. Prophet Muhammad has said about such a person, "God shall save him from a thousand kinds of evils in this world and in the Hereafter. And if he does not do so despite his ability to refute it, on him shall be the burden of one who commits his backbiting seventy times." (Ibid) If we cannot refute, we must speak up and stop the Gheebat. If we cannot do this, then we should signal the backbiter perhaps by way of a hand gesture to stop. If we can't do this either, than as a last resort we should leave the gossiping group, for listening to gossiping is considered just the same!

If you're suffering from Severe Gheebat Syndrome, and despite reading the numerous abovementioned traditions of the holy personalities and the divine words of the Quran still feel as though you need that extra bit of motivation, please spend a few minutes pondering upon the precious words of the Prophet: "The abandoning of backbiting is more valuable to Allah, Almighty and Glorious, than the performance of ten thousand units of recommended prayers." (Bihar al-Anwar)

Arrogance and Humility

Humility and humbleness are among the noblest virtues a believer can be blessed with, because their presence in our hearts and actions instills in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God, the most Glorious and Merciful. These exalted traits were personified by the Holy Prophet and His Household (peace be upon them), and their modesty, graciousness, and humility were a cogent validation of their divine righteousness. For example, Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (peace be upon him) would spread his cloak out such that the poverty-stricken and indigent who came to visit him could sit on it.
Islam is a comprehensive religion and has established humility as the foundation of all sublime moral excellence. Its absence in any soul removes any other virtue from the believer except for the superficial qualities.

"The servants of the Merciful are those who walk on the earth in humility." (25:63)

Humbleness is an attribute praised by the Holy Qur'an and Prophet Muhammad. In order to be blessed and honored with such virtuous characteristics, we must comprehend the true meaning of humility. In its more pure and pristine form, humility is the awareness and declaration on the part of a believing person that all good qualities held by him/her are granted by God, the Glorious and Merciful, and that all praise and thanks is to Him.

Any task we set forth upon that is void of humility is tainted, and humbleness must exist if our intention in any action is pure. As human beings, we are blessed with wealth, intellect, and success; however, we must acknowledge that these blessings are provided to us by God, and we must thank Him. Indeed, God's blessings towards us are trials and opportunities for us to earn His approval and acceptance as believers. If we continue to live without true humility, our actions will continue to be destroyed by arrogance, conceit, and selfish ambition. By continuously thanking the Most Beneficent and Merciful for the blessings He has provided us, we avoid becoming arrogant and are able to join the ranks of the true Muslims.

Arrogance: The Disease of the Soul

The Holy Prophet advised his followers to humble themselves before God and other Muslims, "And no one humbles himself before Allah but Allah will raise him (in status)." Just as humility can lead us to heaven and join us in the ranks of the Prophets and Imams, arrogance, the antagonistic force of humility, will lead us to the deepest and most dreaded pits of hell-fire. Arrogance, also known as Ujb, is among the most destructive vices a person can be stricken with. Ujb is a dangerous characteristic, and we pray to the Most-Merciful to remove it from our hearts, because arrogance leads to hypocrisy, and hypocrisy leads to Riyaa (showing off) and a complete elimination of any faith in a human being.

Arrogance is a disease that has destroyed the faith and honor of countless individuals, and both the pious and common people are susceptible to it unless we continuously praise and thank God in humility for the blessings He has provided us. Imam Musa al-Kadhim (peace be upon him) warns us of the several levels of arrogance "There are several levels of Ujb. One of them is when one's bad actions appear to him as good; he reckons them as good and loves himself, imagining that he is performing virtuous deeds. Another level of Ujb is represented by a person who believes that by having faith in God, he has done God a favor, whereas (in reality) it is God Almighty who has conferred a favor on him (by endowing him with faith)." (Al-Kafi)

Such evil caprices can be defeated through humility and by remembering that all good done on our part, talents we possess, and every good deed and worship we have completed are due to the divine blessings and generosity of God, the most Honorable and Sovereign.

"Give good news to the humble-hearted." (22:34)

Humility and humbleness towards God manifest themselves as modesty, patience, and respect towards other Muslims. Submission to God leads a person towards a more tranquil and meek life of purpose and substance, while self-pride and arrogance leads one to a life of darkness and hatred. It is not possible to be in actual submission while behaving arrogantly and in contempt towards others. Indeed, humble submission before the Most Glorious and Eternal Lord is the most sublime and greatest source of honor and dignity a believing person can be afforded.

Humility comes from recognizing the Might of God and that all might belongs to Him, His Greatness, and being in awe of His Majesty. The lives of Ahlul Bayt (peace be upon them) exemplified humility and an awareness and consciousness of God. They associated with the poor and destitute and worshiped God devotedly and steadfastly through times of peril and blessings. Imam Ali ar-Ridha (peace be upon him) worshiped God so intensely that those around him were naturally curious as to the cause. A companion asked the Imam, "O son of the Messenger of Allah! I fear that you may perish due to excess worship." Imam ar-Ridha replied, "Such a death is everlasting success." The Caliph Ma'mun said, "What sins have you committed that you pray day and night for their forgiveness?" Imam replied, "Not for the forgiveness of sins, it is for the thankfulness of His bounties. It is the demand of my servitude." (Akhlaq al-Aimma)

True humbleness asks that we remember God constantly, thank Him for His countless blessings that He has conferred upon us, use our talents and abilities in the path of God, and consider ourselves superior to no one. Indeed, "Successful indeed are the believers who humble themselves in their prayers." (Qur'an 23:02)

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